For those of you who have also had a long week, here are some cute Panda pictures.

This is weird. I’m writing this book about a teenage truthseering. Her life goal (at the advanced age of 16) is to attend Harvard and become a lawyer.

Guess what Harvard’s motto is:

TRUTH

I could have picked any University, but I settled on Harvard. The universe at work.

We’re heading into a period of rather chilly weather here in Minnesota. This morning when I left the house it was 19 below zero. And that’s without the windchill.

So, to try and maintain my sense of humor about the whole thing, I offer the following cold weather behavior:

60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. Minnesotans plant gardens.

50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People are sunbathing in Duluth .

40 above zero: Import cars won’t start. Minnesotans drive with the sunroof open.

32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.

20 above zero: New Mexicans don long johns, parkas and wool hats & mittens. Minnesotans throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn on the heat. People in Minnesota have one last cookout before it gets cold.

Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.

10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. Minnesotans dig their winter coats out of storage.

25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. Girl Scouts in Minnesota still selling cookies door to door.

40 below zero: Washington, D.C. finally runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let their dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because the Mini-Van won’t start.

460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops. People in Minnesota can be heard to say, “Cold ’nuff fer ya?”

500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools open 2 hours late.

Today’s goal: Finish my Marlene entry (the stupid thing’s going in the contest no matter how bad it is.)
Yesterday’s achievement: Made it home in less than 2 hours.
What I’m grateful for: Have I mentioned my new tires in the last couple weeks? Between the 2 inches of that awful white stuff that falls every other day and the back ice, they’ve been a lifesaver.
Quote: “A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.” -Herm Albright (1876 – 1944)

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks,Write ‘For M@riju@n@ ‘

6. Finish All Your sentences with’In Accordance With The Prophecy.’

7. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go.’

10. Sing Along At The Opera.

11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

I’m partial to #11. What’s your favorite insanity?